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Sunday, July 21, 2024


Just as one might say “suffering is a part of life”, so too, it seems, conflict is a part of life. Stan Steindl, Clinical Psychologist and Adjunct Professor said this wonderful sentence several years ago.

Conflict is in our very nature. Every day, large or small, human conflicts are all around us. But conflict is simply a result of problems being tangled up with the darkside of human nature emerging from innate protection and competition motivations that have evolved over millions of years to help us survive, and that come with difficult tradeoffs. How can we disentangle ourselves and our problems from these more primitive motives and manage conflict better? By activating some of the best bits of what it is to be human, especially the awareness, wisdom, strength, intention and commitment…of COMPASSION.

Yes, we are in conflict with ourselves many times during life. Our future gives cause for concern; the past is captured, therefore we miss the future.

The grief and sorrow asked the hope, “How are you?” The hope answered, ” I am a little bit low and sad today!” The sorrow replied sarcastically, “I hope so!”

Nobody really knows what might happen after reaching the retirement age. Sure, if we can observe our neighbors and all other people in our surroundings, we really don’t like to know it. If we treat ourselves with care, our real age will not be shown. I don’t make any secret about celebrating my 71th birthday sometime this year. I enjoy it. I am proud to reach this age with God’s help.

Let’s not forget our respect, when sometimes just being artificial or  affected by stammering, that “our old lady” or “our old gentleman” hasn’t become senile yet.

On our way to an honorable and respectful age we should try to fulfill some of our greatest longings in life.

During the last decades, I met many people around the whole globe. Unbelievable, I found out, no matter where in this world, the conflicting attitude is everywhere. “It’s an absolute certainty, those doubts are the main certainty!” stressed already the German author, philosopher and dramatist Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956).

How does conflict shape our lives? It can result in a search for new approaches and an opportunity to grow. It can result in finding a better solution to a problem or issue. Conflict can result in negative consequences as well, such as stress, mistrust, retaliation, and decreased communication, performance, and teamwork

Please allow me, once in a while, to be able to say NO. Please allow me to delete inferior and defeatist feelings. Please allow me to admit that I can’t do everything during a single day. Please allow me to no longer be afraid about other people and their spiteful comments about me.  

Please allow me to accept my silence. Please accept me being terribly tired from time to time. Please allow me to be excused even without having an intelligent reply. Please allow me to be carried by salvation and bliss.

Hopefully, we may have enough understanding people with us to accompany us during the voyage of our sometimes very conflicting life. God wants you to know that conflict starts in the heart. Many of our conflicts happen because we want our own way and make choices to get it.


Email me: [email protected] or visit www.germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com and www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com  or follow me on Facebook, Linkedin or “X” (Twitter). 


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